nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
