Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
