cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
