so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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