my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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