Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
