woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
