She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize