you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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