I think I am morally bankrupt
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
