YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
How's work?
Spinning.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
