Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
