I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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