He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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