you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
