yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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