You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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