Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
