Plan B is the new Plan A
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
