he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
