i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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