i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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