She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They have beer where we have blood.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
