Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was confusing and full of hummus
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
