Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
