I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
