Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
