If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
