He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you win again, gameday.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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