worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm at about main and main street
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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