He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
