I'm lost and stupid without you.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We are two peas in an std pod
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
