It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
