69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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