I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
