You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize