WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
