I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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