Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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