First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i think i just lost a toe
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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