great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize