Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
