Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
