the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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