To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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