Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
