Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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