Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Couch. On fire.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
