You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
