hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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