i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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