I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
