week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
