Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Randomize
