I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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