There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
