Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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