I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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