I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
