"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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