That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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