I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
